My confrontation with the God......................

Frens.............

Most of you might think that I have a tendency to fight and I know after reading this blog many of you will say that kaustubh can also fight with the wind and sound.. Though these things are not visible but we can feel it. Similarly we cant see the god but we can feel him and his existence. So now I am not writing this blog to prove his existence as I myself know he is around me in some form or the other. I am writing the blog because now its a high time for me to have a confrontation with him.So god please come to me and answer my questions cause these are creating a huge confusion in my mind....

Why people who don't deserve get those things which people who deserve doesn't get? Why always believers of God has to face the test and non believer live happy life? Why some people in life has to fight to achieve a simple things and why some people get things without asking?These are the questions that only the God himself can answere.

All these questions came to my mind one day when I was totally down and out. I had a huge faith in God. But a Day came when because of some circumstances I started doubting the existence of God.

Everyday I see several people who don't have talent and ability to do a particular job, still they get those things. You people might think that I am grumbling. But frankly its a reality.Frens don't you have any instances in your life when you were faced with these questions... I face them regularly..but frankly whenever I try to confront with God on these questions hey just give me same answer i.e. "kaustubh u are asking right questions but you are taking negative interpretation of it". I asked him to explain it cause it was very difficult to understand it...

God himself asked me to change my point of you.I always use to ask him why me? and he always use say its in you...I never use understand this.So I again went on blaming God, he is unfair to me and is very biased I went to such a extent that I called him a hypocrite and said that he had double standards.I thought I went too long in blaming him but my mind didn't let me to ask for apology as my ego had grown much bigger than me. You know every person should have an ego. But there are two states of ego, over ego and under ego.

Under ego people are those who don't have the self confidence in them and they can be easily be get manipulated by others. Anyone can come and make fun of them, scold them, yell on them and they don't say anything in reply just go on thinking that they have made a mistake.On the other hand there are people with over ego, these are the set of people who take every thing in offensive manner and try to retaliate on minor things also. These people think that every one on this earth are trying to defame them and thus without any reason start fighting.

I think at that time I had a combination of both ego's thus at times I use to think every thing that goes wrong was because of my fault, on the other hand I use to feel that every thing is fault of others. So in such condition I continued blaming the god.

So as God was, is and always would be my best fren he came and said " tell me what you want to ask?".I said why is that the people who don't have ability and talent are there on the best positions?". He laughed at me.... and went on laughing which irritated me. He said " before answering to this question ask other questions too so as I can answer them in one go".I said "OK tell me why your believers have to go through several test and non believers are always living a happy life?". He laughed again, it was making me angry. Still I asked another question thinking this question would make him interested to answer me. I asked him " why some people in life has to fight to achieve small things while others get many things without any efforts?". This was the question which made him to laugh the most and actually I had not listened to such laugh in my life.

So I asked him whether he was interested in making fun of me.He suddenly stopped laughing and there was an uncomfortable silence for few minutes. I felt I had made him angry and said in my mind "kaustubh beta you have crossed the limits now be ready to hear the music". Then suddenly he smiled and said " kaustubh you know when I decided to send you on the earth I knew that you would be stupid at times as I intended to make you a stupid person. But after listening to your questions I felt you are an idiot". I didn't understand what he was saying. So I asked him please explain. Seeing my curiosity he said, " the reason why some people who don't have ability and talent, still get best positions is that, the positions that according to you are the best are actually not the best, I am still in the process of creating better positions for those who are talented and have ability. Tera bhi number aayega beta". It felt nice to listen that God himself thinks I have some thing in me.

Then he further continued" I don't take the tests of non believers but according to you they live a happy life, actually fact is that all every thing is created by me so I am giving every one according to his capacity. The reason I go on taking tests of my believers is that I am still in process of creating a better life for my believers. Non believers are getting things which are below average and believers will get the things which are above average, to beta don't worry tera bhi number aayega". After this answer a smile started coming on to my face.

To answer my third query he said " there is nothing simple or difficult, every thing has a value.Kaustubh you live in Nagpur so do you value oranges?". I said" No". He then replied" I know you don't value oranges but you value apple and mangoes similarly person of ratnagiri doesn't value mangoes he values oranges. A thing valuable for one is worthless for other. A rat will destroy money worth thousands of rupees as it is worthless for him but do you do the same thing.You waste lot of water in a day but do the person living in Sahara desert will do the same". I said "No". He then again said " beta tera bhi number aayega... just wait I am still in the process of creating the best thing for you so don't worry". It felt so nice to here his replies and my confidence started to come back. We say atithi devo bhava but here God himself was my atitthi, in those days I use to drink tea a lot so I offered him to have tea with me. He said OK but on one condition that I will prepare it for him. I think he knew that I use to prepare good food and tea. So I went in my kitchen and prepared an awesome tea which we both drink and then he said "I liked you confronting me". I was amused listening to him I ask why he is saying so. He replied " your questions made me to laugh like any thing, so whenever you want confront with me please call me I will always ready for that, Now I have to go, I have other work to do and thanks for tea".after saying this he went but still I feel he is some where closer to me...

That Day was the turning point of my life, til today don't remember how he looks, what he was wearing but the feeling of God was awesome. For many days I am thinking again of having a confrontation with the God so that I can get an opportunity to offer him coffee. Now a days I don't drink tea na that's why. But hey God I make awesome food also next time whenever we have confrontation, I will ask you to have dinner with me and I will prepare it for you. Do you like BHARVA BAIGAN will prepare it for you. Its my speciality. Finally thank you lord for entertaining my questions and thanks for being with me always. I love you Lord, keep your blessings on me, and I am waiting for my number to come....